Never before do I see time flying as fast as this time. A lot of things has happened, something’s good, and of course something’s bad … and happy … and sad.
Sometimes people enter your life and soon after that they leave, perhaps forever. And what we have about them are vague but obsessed images. Sometimes you need to be strong enough to suppress their images deep in your mind, deep in your heart, leave them there and don’t forget. I have learned how to live with such kind of memory and how to make them my own fortune. They are all part of me which marked some moments, some points in my path and maybe one day when I’m old and look back to my life, I can find my will in them.
With every face I have met in life, I try to remember and store them in my mind with the hope that in some beautiful day, I would meet them again. It’s a very personal happiness that I feel every time I recognize someone I have come across, and even some satisfaction when I recall the first time I saw them. Somehow I call it my hobby of memorization and recall, something that I played day by day with my father as a little girl. Those days, I was in my father’s arms, safe and sound, playing around saying nonsense things that only he could understand. He’s big and I am always so small, but we are great friends. Those days I clung to my mother, trying to use a rice cooker to make my very first rice without pouring some water in. Those days I climbed out of my house almost everyday with my sister and hanged out with the kids I even knew for the first time, along the rice field.
Things start becoming different and difficult when we grow up. It’s no longer a bright and pink sky everyday. Sometimes it’s just cloudy and gloomy. Father said that the more people I met and could remember, the richer I would be. I caved it in my heart and believed in every single word of it. But these days, such kind of thing tortured me a lot. I saw him the first time some and we had very short conversation just enough to know each other’s name. An the second time I was rushing to his place, I was standing there besides him saying goodbye. It’s always hard when you know someone will leave you for good, no matter how well and how long you know them. I have a feeling that I accompanied him to his new journey without any action to pull his back to this chaotic but beautiful world. “Life is short, but this time it’s bigger …”
The more we witness, the more we experience, the more we know … the harder our own shell becomes …
People said the day I saw him leave this world was the day I grew up ….