“Remember to love yourself, then you can love others”, I closed my core yoga class on Monday night, accidentally echoing RuPaul, an American drag queen, cunningly outspoken as they all are.
We were born and raised to many standards and moral values of our society -our “tribe”. We teach our children the things we were once taught by our parents who was guided by our grandparents and so on the connection continues. Generation after generation, we unconsciously synchronize our tunes with our society and speak on behalf of our tribe, so loudly that more than often we couldn’t hear our own voice. We act based on our society’s opinions of what is right and on the other hand, we analyse others’ actions based on our perception of rightness, which is deprived from our tribe. An endless circle of disoriented reflections!
I look at my 2 and 3 year-old nieces – their fearless personality, refreshingly honest and naive nature, determination to go their ways and endless desire for exploration are so therapeutic. When did we start shielding ourselves with the shiny amour of other’s beliefs and expectations? When did we start living so little for ourselves and so greatly for others?
The last 9 months i have received sympathy, empathy and a great deal of opinions deciphering my decision to be in my current situation. Closer to the family, be there for my mum, take over the family business, etc etc. Trust me part of me used to use all of those to justify myself, too. Yet in truth, I did it all for myself. At some point a year ago, I came to term with my difficulties, accepted them and decided to take care of myself without worrying about what others thought of me for once. Bloody liberating! I still love and care for others of course, but I learnt that by being able to accept, love and live for myself so greatly I love others better.
I currently teach yoga full time, making a modest life and I truly think I will do better, taking one step at a time. For the last 3 years, I got asked a lot about why and what the drive was for me to become a yoga teacher. Is it my calling? I do not know yet but It surely enables me to sustain myself and i think it’s a blessing for everyone. I told people 3 years ago that I liked it for a start and I wanted to learn an additional set of valuable skill to get some additional money and in case I’m out of the real estate work some days, I’d like to be able to feed myself anywhere anytime. Most people laughed like it’s my lifetime joke! Have we forgotten the feeling of raw and all natural honesty?
As I slowly shake off the weight of those shields, and I don’t believe we can remove them all, I feel lighter, calmer & more honest to myself and others. And I think people around me feel the changes too.
So, wake up, shake up – the greatest love of all is right here, it’s you.